Should I say something?

A woman had heart surgery last week. It was an extensive, 8 hour operation. As part of her recovery, she was sedated for 24 hours afterward. This lady is a pleasant lady with a very easy going and friendly personality.

The following day, as she began to wake up and become more aware, she realized that she was going to be dependent upon people to take care of her for a couple of days. Fair enough, she just had major surgery.

From what I have witnessed and from what I am told, you're really not thinking clearly right after surgery. You do your best, but for a day or two, you're just trying to recover.

This lady had asked the nurse for something and the nurse's initial response was "you know, please and thank you go a long way around here."

"What?" thought the lady. " I didn't mean to be rude, I didn't even think about saying please....it took all of my energy just to get the words out."

She shared the story with her daughter who immediately went to the nurse in charge and told her about what happened. She was a little reluctant and thought "should I say something?" Instinct told her that she should and she was happy that she did.

I told her that it was very important that she say something. People who work in hospitals from day to day sometimes forget that this is a new and often frightening experience for patients. Their sensitivity for the patient's situation becomes non-existent because as a professional, they go though it every day. The only way that they will continue to understand a patient's point of view is if we share it.

Many people are reluctant to speak up for themselves or express their feelings, because they think that as a result, they will get mistreated, instead of better treatment. "It's all in the approach" I said. If you come at them in a confrontational manner, then yes, they may get offended. But...if you start by saying "I just wanted to share something with you and I hope you will understand my point of view...." the person on the other end will tend to listen and not get taken aback.

"If we don't express how we feel, how will the customer service ever improve?"

A "disability" experience...interesting

My friend shared an interesting story with me over the Holidays about an interesting experience.

I thought it was worth sharing....

My friend had her braces adjusted earlier in the week. By the end of the week she was experiencing a great deal of pain and had to go back to the dentist. In order to treat her issue, he had to freeze one side of her cheek and tongue. She accepted that...anything to make the pain go away.

After her dentist appointment she was making a donation to one of our local social service organizations. Parking is not plentiful at this place and she knew that she would only be a couple of minutes, so she parked the car by the curb, put on her hazards and got out of the car, ready to dash into the building.

There were two men having a conversation in the parking lot when she arrived. They must have been watching her every move, for when she got out of the car, they immediately yelled "you can't park there!"

My friend, wanting to explain that she would only be there for a few minutes began to speak.

Remember the freezing? Well, when she started to talk, her words were a bit slurred and she couldn't quite get the words out. All of a sudden, the men became a little kinder and changed their approach.

"Oh my" my friend thought, "they're being nice to me because they think I have a disability!" She wasn't impressed.

It was a story that she wanted to share with me. I said " let's look on the bright side, at least they were treating you in a kind manner!" We had a chuckle but continued to talk a bit more about it.

In my friend's opinion, being nice to someone just because they have a disability is not "cool". I agreed.

She said that it showed patronizing and phony behaviour. I agreed.

"It shouldn't have mattered whether I had a disability or not" she said. I agreed.

"Is this how people feel?" "I'm sure that they can sense that some people are nice to them only because they have a disability." I agreed.

"How unfair and how demeaning" we both said.

After that my friend said that she understood why people fight for their rights and for self-determination. It's that kind of attitude from others that really pis....es you off!

I agreed.