Making Social Connections: Scary, but an important step forward

All people belong together in society, regardless of age, gender, ability, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, social class and so on. It's about social inclusion for everyone.

It seems so simple. It's common sense. Then why is achieving social inclusion so complex and often difficult to achieve? What's the barrier?

As a parent with a very sick baby I was more concerned with my son's survival than making sure he was connected to his community. When Eric was just under two years old, I was encouraged to enroll him into a community preschool. "Ya right" I thought.

"Who is going to take care of him when he vomits after his meal? Who is going to give him a ventolin treatment for his respiratory illness? Who is going to carry him around for the majority of the day because he is screaming and won't settle down?" Was I thinking about social inclusion at this time in my life? Absolutely not. A small part of me wasn't sure that anyone else could do it, but most of me didn't want to impose such hard work on anyone else. So I did it by myself.

Another half year went by and I began to realize that taking care of my son was an overwhelming and exhausting task. I needed help. One of the ways for me to get a break was to take the step and register Eric in preschool. Given his complex health issues and developmental delay, I believed that a preschool that specialized in caring for children with special needs was the best place for him to go. There, he would be safe and well cared for, and those were my priorities.

Eric had been at the preschool for about 3 or 4 months. He seemed to enjoy it. He was safe. And the staff offered good care. That's what I wanted, wasn't it? One day, when I was picking him up, it dawned on my that while Eric was in good hands, there was a limited number of people who knew him; it was a very specialized environment that focused a lot on disability.

"If I want the rest of the world to get to know Eric and understand what we need, I have to get him out into the real world" I realized.

As soon as I got home I called my contact person at the early intervention agency and I told her that I was ready to try a community-based pre-school! She was excited and very supportive. But I was still very scared. "How are they going to do this" I wondered. But at the same time, I knew that it was and important step to take.

We toured a few child care centres and on two occasions, I didn't have a good feeling. They didn't seem to want Eric at their school. Then I visited Storybook Early Learning Centre. The Director and the staff were very warm and welcoming and their attitude was very positive. They reflected a manner of "we can do this, no problem" and I knew that they would do whatever it took to ensure that Eric had a positive experience and that we could entrust them into their hands. Eric had new friends and I would get the pictures to prove it! he always had a smile on his face.

I found out later that his teacher was so frightened at the beginning, she wanted to make sure that she did a "good job". Her Director was very supportive which gave her the confidence to learn and grow. And that she did. She said that her experience with Eric helped her to realize that she could still learn new things and that she had what it took to teach a child with complex disabilities.

I became a parent who didn't see the possibilities of inclusion to a parent who would settle for nothing less. I learned that it can be done.

This story is important because it explains a couple of perspectives with regard to social inclusion. Parents are frightened. The world doesn't always appear to be warm and welcoming. There are still a lot of people who don't want to bother to include someone who has a disability. But the story also tells the barriers, if we look hard enough, there are people who are willing to include everyone and offer a positive opportunity for all. It's up to us to keep digging.

The story also reflects the benefits of social inclusion. Not only does the person benefit, but society does too. We learn about our own strengths and that what may seem impossible at first, is actually very much a possibility if we simply try.

Eric was very young in this story and people say that it can be easier to offer social inclusion to a child. Yes, but we have to start somewhere. As parents its important that we keep digging and as a society it's crucial that we respond.

I had such a good experience and yet I still ask the question "why is achieving social inclusion so difficult and complex?" It shouldn't be, if on one side, we simply ask, and on the other side, we say, "I will give it a try."