To speak or not to speak

I was involved in two situations today that touched on communicating with individuals who have an intellectual disability.

The first was a discussion about finding tools or strategies for communicating with someone who does not use speech or verbal communication. There was some brainstorming about who to contact or where information could be found for ideas about non-verbal communication.

As a parent that had a son who did not speak I was very much intrigued by the conversation and I was very impressed by what one of my colleagues had to say. She very simply said that it’s not always about finding a formal strategy for non-verbal communication but it was more about getting to know the personal and understanding their individual way of letting you know when they are happy or upset or how they express what they want.

The second situation involved me having to call an individual who had volunteered to be on a committee. I had never met this person and wasn’t sure if she spoke or could use the phone. Knowing that it was very important to be respectful about this I was very nervous about using the right approach. And since I’ve been a leader in the accessibility movement and provide sensitivity training, I put even greater pressure on myself to make sure that I did everything right.

When I made the call, the individual’s parent answered the phone. After I stumbled on my initial introduction and told him why I was calling I let him know that I had never met his daughter and I wasn’t sure if she was comfortable speaking on the phone. So quite brilliantly I asked him “does she like to talk on the phone?” His response was “yes” and I quickly relaxed. “Whew” that was easy! After the conversation I reflected on the moments before I made the call and could appreciate the difficulty that someone might have if meeting someone for the first time and they’re not sure how the person may communicate.

My solution was to approach politely, be honest and don’t try to fake your way through. Ask when you are not sure. Any further ideas?